Thursday, April 10, 2014

Count your life in days

Our Family
It's been an….hmmm, "interesting" would probably be the most positive way to spin it…interesting year.   One of the biggest milestone in our family lives occurred just 2 days after Scott turned 37 when Scott was unexpectedly let go from his position with the church.  We knew they were suffering financial difficulties but frankly, it was still a shock.  I remember telling one of my friends and trying to downplay it, I told her “it’s okay.  It’s just a job.”  And she said “but it’s not just a job, it’s much more than that.” She pretty much hit the nail on the head.  It wasn’t just a job, it was our life.  So, now we find ourselves in a new season, a season of adjustment.  New routines, new patterns, shifting circles, shifting support systems, a whole other new and strange life that we’re learning to live in.

Scott has been a stay-at-home dad (and an amazing one at that) while hitting the pavement and applying for every job we see open, taking night classes and certification classes.  I continue to work at UH and God has been blessing my photography business which is keeping me busy on the weekends and has made for many late nights.  Through this season, we have focused on family time, even seeing this as an opportunity, a blessing to be able to spend more time together and with the girls.  In a few years, Taylor will be in preschool and we wouldn’t be able to spend entire days in her company.  What a gift this was for Scott to share this time with our little one during an age where she’s truly developing into a little person.   This season won’t last forever so we are cherishing this time with both our girls.

The triplets changed the way I see life in so many ways.  We had some warning that we might lose Rory when they sent us to a specialist after our 20 week ultrasound.  We cried, and prayed, hoped, and cried, and prayed up until her birth.  But with Allie, there was no warning.  She was doing so amazing.  It was Casey that the doctors were worried about.  She was the sick one that gave us concern while Allie seemed to be thriving and sprouting.  And then it happened in a flash, within 24 hours, she was gone. 

19 days.  19 days was all we had with her.   When the girls were first born and we looked at the long hospital stay stretched ahead of us, the mom of the baby next to us gave me advice.  She assured me that it was okay if I couldn’t visit every day.  She had other children, she even had to go back to work so she could save her leave for when her son came home.  It sounded right, it sounded wise.  But I never did it, and I am forever grateful that I didn’t.  Because I didn’t have a lifetime with Allie.  Well, I did...but who knew a lifetime could be just 19 days.

Sometimes your life isn’t counted in decades.  Sometime it’s not even counted in years.  Sometimes it is just days.  In my life since the girls were born, I now count everything in days. Sadly, since our girls were born, some of our friends have experienced losswhere days were not even an option for them.   It's hard lesson that not all parents get to see their children grow up, get married and meet their beautiful grand-children.  We're not promised that.  We're not even promised tomorrow.

Our bedtime routine with the girls is split.  Scott carries Slugger to her bedroom when it’s her bedtime and I carry Sunny when it is hers.  I pray over Sunny and every day I pray thanks over the day we had and replay some of the highlighs.  And at the end, I think “man, today was a good day.”  Maybe there was a crisis at work, or maybe I spent an hour scraping the melted cheese out of the oven from when I accidentally flipped the pizza over…but all I remember is cuddles with the girls watching Doc McStuffins or laughing while Sunny chases the hapless baby chicks around the day.  And every day, I can firmly make that announcement…”today was a good day.”  I count myself very blessed that I get to say that.

Today was a good day.  A very good day.

1 comment:

  1. :O) this post made me tear and smile. You need to keep up with this Blog