Friday, March 18, 2011

It's been one year since....

...we found out we were having twins. Little did we know.

Scott and I were talking about couples and that first ultrasound and I started thinking about ours. It's hard because it's such an amazing feeling and there's such elation, especially our first ultrasound. That's when we learned we were having twins. One of the identical twins always hid behind the other one so it would be a month more before we would see all three. I always look at those pics and wonder which twin we were seeing. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say Allison just because of the positioning. It was literally one of the best days of our lives, and yet now I am reluctant to think about it because it reminds me that such a beautiful start had a different ending. Still, it was a beautiful and amazing day.

I'm glad we're such huge journal addicts. So much of Slugger's journey and her sisters' journeys are documented. Here's my thoughts that I wrote a year ago on March 15th, 2010.

March 15, 2010
This morning, Scott and I went to the first ultrasound. Scott is soo good, he woke up extra early and was doing his devotions. Granted, I feel sick and tired, but I had this thought, I hope his faith gets us brownie points.

The nurse at the IVF clinic who loves Scott practically giggled when she saw him in the hallway as we walked to our exam room. She hugged him and she hugged me too, but I think I was the afterthought.The doctor came in and sat down and began the exam. He had the ultrasound machine facing him so we couldn't see and I saw him just staring at the screen, and he was clicking some button and I thought....OMG, he can't even find a sac. It's empty. I was already starting to cry, not because I was that certain it was bad, but just because the emotions of the moment were so overwhelming. I realized how critical the next few minutes were going to be in our lives.

Then I heard the nurse say "That's a positive, right, doctor?" And I saw him nod. Oh, the relief. He turned the machine to us and I saw two circles. My thorough education at google medical school, I realized that there were two sacs. Oh, I had thought we might have had two begin but one didn't make it which would explain why my HCG level went from above to just normal for a single pregnancy. He showed me the right and showed us the beautiful flicker of the heartbeat. He's so experienced at this. Tell me the good news, and then break it to us gently that we had a second one but it didn't make it.

Then, he moves the scan to the second circle and says "here's the second pregnancy and right there..." and I saw another flickr.

Two!!! Two babies. It was awesome. Scott leaned forward and we both were so shocked...we're having two. I said "really? I thought we were just having hcg levels were not high enough for two." And the nurse nodded and said "yah, you're right. You're absolutely right." We didn't have the shocking high levels of HCG that you would expect in twins, but there they were, two little babies with hearts clearly beating.

Scott had his videocamera so he taped the screen for a couple seconds although they printed out pictures anyway. Both babies are measuring 6w6d, perfect.It's awesome! it's like we just found out we're pregnant. This is the joy, that "aha" moment that we didn't really have when we found out we're pregnant. We kept looking at our ultrasound pictures...seeing two little blobs.

The end

Slugger, that was the first time we got to see you and your sisters. It was the most beautiful sight, absolutely beautiful.


  1. It's weird to think how much our lives have changed in just one year. We had such a roller coaster of emotions from elation to devastation, freaking out with worry and then the next moment peace. I thank God that he helped us get through what he did.

  2. Erika, Benjamin, and I miss you guys. Miss Hawaii, but more importantly miss HCKB. Strange enough though, God lives in Rhode Island too. You two motivate me!

  3. wow. what a journey. what a beautiful journey.

  4. Thanks guys!!! What a day it was. What a year it has been. Looking forward to what this year holds for us.